Kids don't come with a manual

At the beginning of each positive parenting session that I facilitate, I always survey the parents about their employment. Most have jobs outside of the home and there is always a wide variety of jobs. The next question I ask is if they drive. The answer to that is usually a yes. After that, I open a discussion on how each person was trained to do their job, how they learned to drive a car. I ask questions like "Did you just arrive at work on your first day and start to run a cash register or a machine, step right in and begin doing your job with no instruction?  The answer is always a no. When I ask if anyone was simply handed a key for the first time and told to go ahead and drive away, the answer is also a no.

It has always seemed illogical to me that we receive all kinds of training for jobs but, when you have a baby (arguably one of the toughest and most important jobs there is), people admire the little beauty and then you are sent on your way with little or no instruction on how to raise this child. It is assumed that everyone has someone who has experience and knowledge back home to help out. The sad reality is that many of us do not have supports readily available. Most of us figure out the day to day custodial stuff quickly. Once our children begin to get around and start to explore their environment and their own sense of control, it gets more difficult for parents to figure things out. Managing behavior and assisting and guiding the development of these little human beings can be a daunting task and frustration and uncertainty may grow.

I have been very lucky in that I had a great variety of opportunities to build my knowledge and experience base. As a young teenager, I had the opportunity to watch my older siblings raising their children. Since it has always been my greatest desire to raise a family, I was very focused on observing what worked well and what did not work well in the families close to me. I practiced with my babysitting charges and filed away the results in my memory.

In college, we studied human behavior, behavior modification and interpersonal communications, all of which fascinated me. The course that I valued most and which I have applied more than any other was a parenting course. The combination of all these things gave me the confidence I needed to embark on the raising of my own children (as well as a few others gathered on the way). It has been my passion and my mission to mentor others on their journey.